Nigerian families will appreciate what I am trying to say. It is beyond my comprehension why Nigerian parents make so much noise about male children. Sometimes having just one male child is not even enough. In many cases, concerned relatives will boldly take it upon themselves to give you what they think is a crucial advice "Get a companion for the son,' ihe di ofu gwurarwu' ” meaning one is as good as nothing. I also find it curious that this issue doesn’t just affect Nigerians living in Nigeria but even those living abroad.
In certain scenarios the man is quite content when he hasn’t got any male child but family members and close friends will be there constantly reminding him of the crucial need to have a male child. Their commonest motivation being that in the absence of a male, there would be no one to continue the family linage/line/surname. They start by putting all sorts of ideas in his head about trying his luck with another woman getting another wife. In some families or tribes where a second wife is frowned upon. He will either have a male child outside of wedlock or send his wife packing with flimsy excuse that she is not capable of bearing him a son.
The story is always ' woman you can’t give me a son' not so? Men please remember that it is what you give a woman that she reproduces. Only a man can determine the sex of a baby. The finger is pointing right back at you. An average Nigerian couple can decide to have three children and in any event the three turn out to be female children they would keep trying for a male child and sometimes they will end up having seven to eight children as seen in some cases. Sometimes they may still fail in the bid get a male child. Majority of the time they conveniently forget that a large family comes with the responsibility of financial and emotional support of these children. They have to be trained. If the family is financially, buoyant, fine and good But in most cases a lot of sacrifices are required on the part of parents.
If we continue to place little or no value on female children, it creates the impression among females that a girl does not have much value. The startling truth that we often times fail to realize is that without a woman there will be no life. The very womb through which life flows is that of a woman. Thus, a woman should rightly be valued and appreciated for who she truly is. For too long there has been a “male dominant” approach to life, where the female have been subjugated and forced to play a subservient type role in the home and community. It is time that we, once again elevate the woman to her rightful place; she is to be treasured, valued and appreciated, as without her we would not be. Blessings to the wombs that carried us and nurtured us for nine (9) months
The emphasis on male offspring is rooted in the Igbo traditional order of inheritance where only men have claim to property. So if a man dies without a son, his assets traditionally go to the closest male relative.
ReplyDeleteI must say though that this is changing as people get educated and enlightened and more people write their wills. Women are also learning to stand up for themselves and fight for what is theirs. The change is slow but sure.
Great write up!
ReplyDelete