Effective Discipline At Home: To Flog or Not To Flog? (PART 1)

The issue of discipline of children at home is pertinent today for several reasons. It is no longer a matter of how you want to raise your own child as much as what is right by the law of the land, and what is beneficial to the wellbeing of the child in question. It is true that children are often handed to inexperienced parents without a clear guideline
on how to raise them, but somehow nature has given us all a conscience and intuition that reminds us in a most gentle and private manner when we are getting derailed. The majority of parents definitely desire to raise well-rounded, prosperous and independent children. However sometimes we end up suppressing the children's inner drive and talents. I believe that any form of parenting that leads to a total breakdown of relationship between a parent, or parents and their children represents mediocre parenting. That is mainly if it is the fault of the parents. After all said and done, at the moment of stress and provocation, people tend to fall back to what they know by applying the very method of discipline used by their own parents. This is irrespective of whether they benefited or suffered from them.
In general, for a discipline technique to be effective, they must occur in the context of a relationship in which children feel loved and secure.

Rewarding Desirable or Effective Behaviours

Behaviours that the parents value and want to encourage need to be identified by the parents and understood by their children. Parents should provide regular positive attention. This is sometimes labelled special time. Special times are opportunities to communicate positively with children. They are very important for children of all ages. Listen carefully to children and help them learn to use words to express their feelings. Regularly provide children with opportunities to make choices whenever appropriate options exist and then help them learn to evaluate the potential consequences of their choice.

Communicate as needed

Provide attention to the child to increase positive behaviour (conversely ignore, remove, or withhold parent attention to decrease the frequency or intensity of undesirable behaviours). Attention includes being aware of children’s needs, being flexible, particularly with older children and adolescents, through listening and negotiation to reduce episodes of child noncompliance with parental expectations. Involving the child in decision-making has been associated with long-term enhancement in moral judgment. Show interest in their school and other activities; thus promoting optimal parent-child relationship.

Reducing and Eliminating Undesirable Behaviour

When an undesirable behaviour occurs, discipline strategies to reduce or eliminate such behaviour are needed. Some behaviours that place the child or others in danger are non compliant with the reasonable expectations and demands of the parents or other appropriate adults. These behaviours interfere with positive social interactions and self-discipline. Some of these behaviours require an immediate response because of danger or risk to the child. Others require a consistent consequence to prevent repeat or escalation. Some problems, particularly those that involve intense emotional exchanges, may be handled best by ...........................TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW