It used to be a taboo to have children before marriage in Nigeria. Personally I have witnessed situations where a man is interested in marrying a lady only to cancel at the last minute because he discovered that the lady had a child in her parents’ house. As a result, some ladies have suffered the pain of rejecting their own children just to stand a chance of getting married. This is not to account for those that go through the pain of aborting the unwanted pregnancies. Other women have attempted to lure men into marriage by getting pregnant for them. When the strategy fails, the woman is stuck with baby mama status.
Unplanned accidental pregnancy remains the commonest avenue to becoming a baby mama in Nigeria. Many people have not mastered the various birth control methods available. Therefore, they are not able to stop pregnancy. When it accidentally happens, the person is faced with stigmatization. If she is lucky and the partner is someone that is interested in marriage, they may be able to conceal the pregnancy and organize a marriage quickly such that no one could tell that an accident occurred. If however the partner is not marketable as a husband or shows no interest in settling down, a woman is stuck with a child as a single parent.
Today however, it appears to be gaining acceptance in our communities. Nowadays in Nigeria I notice that certain women who had babies at home have proudly acknowledged their children and continued to live their lives normally. Some of these women did not allow the temporary setback to keep them from education and viable career paths. Many have made their marks in acting, businesses, academics and so on.
After all said and done, I don’t think it is ever the wish of any right thinking lady to find herself in such a situation.
There are many other reasons and life stories that lead people into the situation of becoming baby mamas. Whatever the reason you have for becoming a baby mama instead of a wife, it pays to see things in the positive light, embrace the situation and make the most out of life.
Do the baby Mamas receive any financial or other support from the baby fathers?
ReplyDeleteunfortunately we have no laws to compel these men to pay for child support. But recently I noticed that girls who have children for celebrities get some financial from them. However not all are lucky in that sense.
DeleteTheir reason for such behaviour is that men are scarce, others tend to like other people's husbands. Their are various circumstances surrounding such decisions which i cant judge but trying to put a pregnancy on one's head is not the best.
ReplyDeleteWhat I still don't understand is why would any girl in her right sense of mind try to tied down a man with pregnancy? No matter the reason or circumstances, a woman shouln't be so foolish to dabble into "try your luck" gimmick. Anyway, some girls that this plot worked for, ended up being the man's punching bag. And sometimes they are been neglected at home with the child while the so called baby father will seek pleasure elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteTying a man with pregnancy is never the ultimate, you can never force a man to willingly marry you when that man is not yet ready. So girls should view the consequences ahead of them before they open up their legs wide in the process of tying an unwilling man with pregnancy.